Parenting: Our Greatest Contribution to Society

Hey folks. Welcome back, J.C. here, and today we're gonna talk about honor, integrity, trustworthiness, and the importance of instilling these values in our children. I have my guest on Robert. Robert. How you doing

Hey, John, doing.

You know, Robert, I thought about this podcast and I've been thinking about it for a while. because we seem to have a problem in this country with our youth, and when you have a problem, just like anything around your house, if I have a plumbing problem, the first thing I need to do is either I need to identify the problem visually or I need to call an expert in. And get the problem diagnosed to get it fixed because if I allow that plumbing problem and progress, I may have a basement full of water. In this country, we have an out of control youth population, and that's not all of them. There's some folks that are doing a darn fine job of raising their children. and bringing up very fine, upstanding youth into adulthood. But I believe we have a whole bunch of people that have decided they can leave the parenting up to the folks at daycare up to the individuals at school because maybe they don't have time. And I understand that time is a factor these days because the way the system works, it does. Two folks working in many households to support the family. So John and Mary are busy at work and trying to juggle things, but you see John and Mary going to baseball games on the weekend or football games or know, watching their favorite television shows. But are they spending enough time with their children? Are you as an individual, the audience, spending enough time with your children to make sure that they're getting your values? And they're becoming the youth and young adults that we would like to see them become. Or are they hanging around the wrong people? Are they being influenced by social media, which I think one of the worst and best things ever created is social media. I say that because. There's a lot of really bad stuff on social media. A lot of these entertainers, the garbage that they're putting out, some of the lyrics in music, I can't even listen to it as a full grown adult, it's hard for me to listen to, but there's a lot of great stuff that can be acquired through social media. I absolutely go to YouTube on a regular basis and find some of my favorite speakers and listen to them. And many of the positive Methodists that they're putting out. I had a talk with my son the other day and the talk was about him having a choice. Whenever he picks up his phone and he goes to YouTube he goes to any website, has a choice to look up stuff that could be informative and beneficial to his learning and thought process, or he could look up garbage. And I think that's a conversation all parents need to have with their children if they're going to have access to social media. Now, my son's 13, he needs to communicate, he needs to communicate with myself. He needs to communicate with his mother, his brother, and of course he needs to communicate with his friends. I don't believe we can shelter our children and keep them in a box, but I think that we can do our best to guide. And we need to have serious talks with our kids. We can't always be their buddies. There's times that I have to have serious conversations with my son about things that I observe, maybe the way that he's treating others, his attitude. We talk a lot about the responsibility of school. He goes to a private school. I pay for. And I tell 'em on a regular basis, need to take that as a privilege that you're able to go to a fine private school and you need to respect the fact that I'm paying for it. And that should hold some value for you on why you wanna do your best there. Now I'm very fortunate cuz my sons are athletes. My oldest son was an athlete for most of the years in his school and now my youngest son is an athlete and that's a very busy and rigorous schedule. My youngest son switched from lacrosse to hockey. As you know, Robert and his team's number one in their league and he works very hard. is that young man that will come home from school and all of a sudden I hear this tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, Outback on the patio. And that's him practicing his stick skills. He's working on improving every day in addition to going to practice three days a week several hours, but whatever he participates in, in the form of sports, he's all about it. He's just doesn't show up for practice, do the job, come home and then play. He's devoted and I am very fortunate and blessed in that, I always suggest parents look into sports for their children. I think it's a great thing to get our kids involved activities, sports, extra curriculum activities at school. it's band, maybe it's art, whatever you can do to get your children involved in things keep 'em off the streets. That. Keep them around the right folks. It's interesting. son was having some struggles in Bible class. I had to go in and have a talk with the principal of the school about the fact that what I've been studying and seeing when my son's doing his homework seems a little over the heads. Of children, youth, the ages that they are, and that I don't believe that the message that's being taught is the beauty of the message of Jesus, and I don't necessarily agree wholeheartedly with the doctrine The church and school that my son go to, but I tell my son, it's always good to learn perspectives and what other people think and believe. That doesn't necessarily mean that you're gonna believe in it, but it will help you formulate your belief system because you're informed and filled with knowledge. But I did have a talk with the principal that I think that the Bible class needs to be more enlightening and needs to talk about subjects that kids have more of an interest. Instead of topics like circumcision and, the whole process and the ancestry, know, when you're reading the Bible and you get to that part where it talks about Ruth and her relatives and who wants to learn that stuff and what's the practical application unless you're gonna become a Bible scholar. So I talked to the pastor and I said, why can't they teach about the story of David? Which is a triumphant, an amazing story about somebody who literally had to climb out of a hole about the teachings of Paul who wrote some of the greatest biblical writings in history? And the story of Paul's a great one. He was a heinous creature. He was just

He.

individual. rose out of the ashes to become great human and leader, an awesome writer. So the principal actually was very receptive. I love the school. My son goes to, the principal is very receptive, and now he's actually gonna go observe Bible class for a few days and see whether he can instill in the teacher. Some ways to make positive changes in the class. And I love that. I love the fact that he's receptive to the conversation and his exact words were, know, unless a parent comes to us, we don't know what's going on. he had some ideas that thought might work and that's awesome. But I'm very active in school. I'm active in making sure that my son goes to school with the right mindset. You heard the story few weeks ago about my son driving down the road with a bad attitude on the way to school, and I made him

Yes.

half the way.

I don't think he told me.

Oh, I didn't, so we were leaving the house and my son, I don't know, he was a little grumpy and know, I wake up happy every morning. It drives everybody crazy cuz I'm singing and just having a great morning. And we go to get in the car and I ask my son to throw some stuff in the trash that he had left on the floor of the car. And he gets a little grumpy with me and he gets in the car and I said that your tone of voice is not accept. and was looking over and I'm still being happy cuz that's just me. And I can see he has, that sourpuss face and he's not being as receptive as I thought maybe I would like, and I'm trying to have a conversation with him and I can see that he's half paying attention. And finally I pulled the car over and I said, get out. He looks at me and he says, excuse me, sir. I said, get. He says what does that mean? I said, what it means is you're gonna get out of my car and you're going to start walking up that road, I am going to drive next to you with my flashers on until I see your attitude improve. And if your attitude improves by the time we get to that tree, a quarter mile up this road, then you will be allowed to get back in my vehicle and you will get to school on. If you don't improve your attitude, will drive along next side of you with my flashers on until you walk to school, and I don't think you wanna walk a couple miles, so it's up to you. Do you have the discipline required to change your attitude or do you have to walk to school? It's your choice. And he says, but my attitude's changed Dad. And I said, no it hasn't. I said, you haven't walked far enough to have an attitude change Now get walking. And that's what I made him do is walk up the side of the road and it's a back country road. But guess what? His attitude did change by the time he got the quarter mile up the road, which time I let him back in. We went to Starbucks, a little bit of breakfast and. I dropped him off at school, I grew up as a kid. That mattered. And if you woke up with a bad attitude, that was your business, but you weren't allowed to share your bad attitude with others. My father now he was a little different than me. He would beat you he had no qualms about it, but I was brought up that you're having a bad day, Keep it to yourself. If you need somebody to talk to, you're welcome to ask that, but do not just inadvertently decide that you're gonna share your bad attitude with others and destroy their day. And I've been that way all my life and I'm, I try to instill that into my children. We have control. We absolutely have control. If you want to have a bad attitude and a bad day, you can have. Some people predict their bad day. I've heard people say, boy, tomorrow's gonna suck at work. I'm like, wow, setting yourself up for a great day. I think it's important for us to teach our children discipline and it's discipline of the mind, which actually controls the emotions and it's proven. that was just a little lesson. Attitude, but I think that the whole conversation here about making sure that as parents, we stay in control of our children and we don't let society have to run them. if you don't do it when they're young, then the police end up having to do it when they're older because they're out there getting in trouble. I actually think life is so relative. I think once in a while we have to restrict our kids to confinement of their bedrooms and take privileges away, but I always explain to my son that why you're sitting in your room and you're not allowed to have access to anything fun. Think about the fact that if you were older, Same scenario, you could find yourself in a jail cell that would be way more confining and restricting than this. But a lot of parents don't have conversations with their children like that. My oldest son, we got in a little bit of a conflict when he was 10 and he threw his backpack at me and I drove him downtown Denver to the police station. And I walked him into the police station I asked for an officer and I explained the situation and that I thought that he should be charged with assault. And interestingly enough, the police officer recognized what I was trying to accomplish in teaching my son a lesson and he took my son back into the police station office and had a good talk with him. Boy, I'll tell you what, son saw Jesus that day.

I bet he did.

He never did that again. As parents, we've gotta be creative in our ways, but we've gotta get the message across we are the parent. We have to establish that respect. And then we have to give our children respect as well. So in our house, My sons have always been taught. I will give you exactly the respect factor that you give me. If you give me disrespect, the form of disrespect that you get back might not be pleasing to you. And that's our respect factor within us. And that's, it's a good working relationship. I'll tell you, it works very. And it has served us well over the years. It's not perfect. I have the same conflicts that any other parent goes through. The same challenges know, a that's raised two sons, and who has to co-parent. It can be difficult, but we work it out. I support their mother wholeheartedly. Uh, Sometimes I may even disagree, but I'm very supportive I believe I get equally back. But that's the key to success I believe, with children, is staying in control of parenting. Don't let society train your children cuz society is does areas are pretty disgust. You can always count on others to be teaching your children quality of life and lessons that you would like to be learned by your children. I know your dad was pretty tough, wasn't he? Robert?

He was tough. He's softened up over the years. Of course, he's

it's funny not to interrupt, but it's funny how my dad, oh my God, my dad was drill sergeant when I was a kid and then there was a separation and I didn't get to see him for many years. And then when we got back together, dad actually turned into an amazing individual. was just one of the kindest individuals you ever met. And then later we realized that the PTSD that he was suffering from, from his time as a Korean War veteran. Had carried over he really didn't understand what a child was and what children were. So his form of parenting was more of a drill sergeant and not a nice one. But he turned into an amazing individual who I had utmost of respect for right up to the day of his passing. And we best friends because he turned into an amazing individual and I counted on him for a lot of guidance in business. He was great for my business and had a great relationship. And I think you have the same with your dad these days.

It's a very different relationship today. Yeah, it's much better.

Yeah, it makes you feel good that you can go through that period of rectification,

That's.

I always tell my son will have friends and I'll hear them talking about their parent and they'll be like, oh, I can't stand my dad. And it's you know what? One day you're gonna look back and you're gonna recognize that most of that was probably you. even if it was a little bit of him or individuals talking about their mothers, you'll find that the future is very enlightening and your thoughts will change on how you feel about your parents. uh, feel very blessed with the fact that life was challenging with my parents. know, An alcoholic mother till she was 60, but years up until her death of just being great friends. I miss my mom every day cuz it's funny, I still go to call her but and my dad, it's been quite a few years now, but I always, know, have thoughts about, know, boy, it'd be nice if I could talk to my dad right now. uh, cuz he was just a very level-headed, smart, quality individual. I learned a lot from him and learned a lot from my mother, good and bad times. I'm very blessed with the parents that I was blessed with, and I know you feel the same. You spend a lot of time hanging out with your mom.

I do couple times a week.

mom. She's awesome. She's actually

She is,

lady. I always enjoyed any time that I was around her when we went out to eat and stuff like that. so that's just a conversation about parenting folks. I hope you've gotten something out of this. I know we've ramble a lot in these conversations sometimes, but it's just enjoyable. Uh, Speaking to things. I have to go pick my son up from school. It's amazing because my son texted. Uh, A little earlier, so as I told you, he was struggling in Bible class and I went and talked to principal. That was just yesterday, and today my son sends me a text and says, dad, can I stay after school for bible class? They have an additional Bible class once a week in the evening that he gets to stay at, if he chooses to, learn additional stuff. And they get to spend the time in a more relaxed atmosphere with the Bible class teacher. And a lot of the students actually stay after because they enjoy the after school Bible class more than the in school Bible class, which hopefully that's gonna be remedied, now I have to go pick him. And then my son actually goes to hockey for two hours. So he's a hard worker. He's a really hard worker. And it shows he's a part of a great team and organization with hockey. And that also shows. Promote our kids by doing the right things with them, participating in their lives, spending a lot of time with them. know, Forget that time that you get to go hang out with your buddies if you're one of those. Spend time with your children because your buddies will always be there, but your children at some point will be out of the house and you wanna see them living great prosperous lives. That's what we want. We wanna promote our children and we only do that by spending time with them. Hey Robert, I know I've done most of the talking in this podcast, but it's great having ya and I hope you have a fantastic day. For now, this is J.C. and I am out of here.